After having planned, cancelled, forgotten, rescheduled, ignored and being reluctant for years I finally managed to attend my first session at the Toastmasters yesterday. I am so glad I did that, I am happy and proud of myself not because I received a “First Timer Ribbon” but because I broke out of my own shell.
Speaking and reading in public has always been a challenge for me. I stammer for words and am conscious when I read. I remember standing bravely in front of 30 students and reciting poems at an English Class when I was 10 yrs and don’t know when that confidence turned into fear I now feel in competent and nervous about speaking in public.
Interesting speeches, narrations and a concept where everyone speaks and evaluates made me feel involved in the meeting. The 2nd half of the meeting was worth looking forward too, after feedback from the evaluators the toastmaster announced the Table Topics session. I was asked to put my name down for it, with a bit of hesitation I said yes and awaited my turn. We were asked to pick up a penny from a box; look at the year on the penny and speak about what that year reminds you of.
I could feel my heart beat fast as they called my name. I wanted to close my ears and pretend that I couldn’t listen to them but I stood up walked ahead, shook hands and scrambled my fingers into the box and waited to see what came my way. 2001 was the year on my penny and it took my memories back to my college days, it reminded me of a small town girl moving to city and experience a new life, studying course that was unusual and living away from mom and dad. That’s what I spoke about for 1 minute and 32 seconds.
People were pleased with my efforts, but I personally think I was nervous and I didn’t know what I was talking about. I am glad I got this opportunity, it’s surely a forum for me to listen, think and talk more and get rid of speech fear in my life.
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